This past Christmas my husband, daughter and I went to the Midwest to visit family and friends. If I had a quarter for every time someone asked, “When are you going to start trying for number two?” or “When are you going to give A a sibling?” I would have enough money to buy a cup of  premium coffee. I know folks are well-meaning with this question, but still found it to be a little….annoying. For one thing, it assumes that my husband and I plan to have another child. Perhaps a better way to phrase the question is “Are you planning on having another child?” Regardless, I am still relishing being a first-time parent and enjoying every minute with my daughter, and the furthest thing from my mind is whether or not we will have another baby.

The whole “biological clock” thing makes the question timely, I suppose. I am in the lower-to-mid-thirty age range and am not getting any younger, so that could explain why people are curious. Even so, the question still bugs me, if anything for its assumption that every child “needs” or “deserves” a sibling. I’ve heard all of the arguments: What will happen when my husband and I die? Who will A play with, and who will she sit next to on a ride at Disneyland?

I don’t like thinking morbid thoughts, and as everyone knows, there are no guarantees of anything, so that first reason (what happens when my husband and I are no longer on this planet) doesn’t have much to stand on. And my daughter plays with my husband and I all the time, and we all love it, and she also has friends and cousins, so that whole having-another-baby-for-a-playmate argument is pretty shallow. And without a doubt, she will ride next to my daredevil husband on roller coasters and with her mommy on carousels. Duh.

I am the oldest of four, and I love having my siblings. I have excellent memories of playing together (as I do of fighting) and have noticed us getting closer the older we get. I also know that our parents enjoy all of their children and grandchildren, and that we are, in a sense, their biggest investment. Children, no matter how many you have, are an investment.

Which leads me to another reason: the cost of raising a child. When I think of all of the expenses of having a child (diapers, food, education, plane tickets, braces, cars, insurance, clothing, tickets to Disneyland) I can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. One thing I have learned through my first year of parenting, however,  is that parents and children are adaptable to change, so you really just “go with the flow” no matter what. I’m sure there were days when my parents questioned their decision to have four children, as I’m sure there were days when they were so grateful they did.

Rather than get annoyed with the question, I am going to use it as an opportunity for discussion: “You know, we’re just not sure. We love our little A and maybe in a few years we will revisit our situation, but right now things are great. I’d love to hear your reasons for having more children.”

Honestly, I would.

I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Cara, and I am the mother of a fifteen-month-old beautiful baby girl. Which really makes her a toddler, though I am just getting used to that reality. A few months ago I quit my day job so that I could spend more time with my baby/toddler and this blog is my creative outlet. As the title suggests, I expect to use my baby/toddler’s naptime for writing time. OK, all you parents out there, you can stop laughing now. I know it’s ambitious and I know I will realistically write most of my posts in the evening, when the real naptime begins, but it’s a new year, and it’s good to have goals, right?

With that said, I hope to provide you with some insights and give you a chuckle from time to time. Even though the majority of my days are spent catering to the demands of a two-foot-tall munchkin who can do the same thing for hours and never get bored, I still think of other things that relate to my pre-mommy life. It is my hope that this blog will provide a little bit of something for everyone. I hope to see you around!